Real Talk [from employee mindset, to business owner, to studio owner, overnight] My journey with fear…

So, since launching The Balance Culture, I have gotten a lot of questions about starting my own business. Most questions consist of “did you always know you were an entrepreneur?” to “has it always been your dream to have your own business?” So, the short answer… “no”… longer answer…“not at all, you couldn’t have paid me to make me believe this five years ago”.

It’s not that I had anything against being a business owner; I think they are awesome. I am married to one, so I think they are more than awesome! But, I was a star employee. I loved going into businesses that were already up and running with systems and make them even better. Creating something out of nothing gave me anxiety and sent me running in the opposite direction.

But, after graduating with my masters in search of my perfect career, I found out real quickly it didn’t exist. So, for a business model you find a need and fill a need. I knew there was a need for what I wanted to do and I knew I wanted to contribute to the world in some type of way. But, I was scared ‘ish’less (can I say that?).

Every and all fears began to creep up… “who am I?”, “I have no experience in starting a business”, “do I really have anything to offer?”, “am I qualified to do this?”… These fears held me back, debilitated me, and sent me running in the other direction hard. I was not ready to trust God and move forward, so I lived in a season of “stuck”. Stuck because I knew what I had to do. But, I was unwilling to step out against my fears to do it. You guys, this is one of the hardest places to live and I came to a crossroads of giving the dream up all together or moving forward because I hated that “stuck” in the middle place.

For me, this wasn’t just starting a business. This meant more to me than that. It was being vulnerable with the world, sharing my story about struggling with anorexia (only a handful in my life knew), it was putting myself and my dreams out there to potentially get rejected and fail (is there anything worse?) and sacrificing all the time and energy to get there. I prayed and prayed and kept coming back to it.

By the time Southeastern University contacted me about the commercial, I was confronted to make a final decision and move forward. It was a “now or never” moment attached to an unbelievable opportunity. I couldn’t turn it down and live with myself. I kept saying to myself “Kirstin, who is on the other side of your obedience”? I couldn’t live with the idea of not even trying. It wasn’t worth it. So, in a moment’s time I stepped into the calling God had for me. I agreed to the commercial and it was game on.

At this point, I went full fledge into everything. It was business time… I needed a name, concrete plan, solid ideas and strategy. I consulted with God like it was my job. I prayed about evvverrryyythhing. I knew if I followed His direction, it would be OK. I also knew that if I didn’t, I could just come right back to Him and start again and it would also be OK (Hello freedom!). Tiny steps turned into strides and in about a month I had a business.

To be continued…

Questions: Did the fears go away? No. Were they less intense? No. Were they more intense? Yes. Did you stop listening as much? Yes.<<<<<Key!