Hi my name is Kirstin (pronounced K-ear-stin, for those who were wondering š )Ā and I am a workaholic! So the irony of starting a business with the word ābalanceā inĀ it,Ā is the fact thatĀ my life has been so, how do IĀ sayā¦ out ofĀ balanceĀ since I started it. I tend to live in go-go-go and a little more goĀ modeĀ about 110% of the time. Fail. I love to work becauseĀ Iām literally obsessed withĀ myĀ business and I live in a constant state of elated and excited.Ā It literally feels like Christmas morning everyday, except I am on crack and Santa is fit and puts kale in stockings š . So it can be so hard to stop, until I have toā¦
Well, almost two weeks ago I got in a car accident. Yes, it was my fault (I am not claiming to be driver of the yearĀ *eye roll*Ā ). No,Ā noĀ one was really hurt. I just walked away with some whiplash, back pain, a bruised rib, and no more Scion TCĀ (youāll be missed little one).
Since I take pretty good care of my bod,Ā I expected it to really come through for me here. I legit had a conversation with it and was like āI treat you well, pull through for me hereĀ you hotĀ thangā. Wellā¦ not so much, turns out I am not as nice to it as I thought and never really rested after the accident, which has made for a SUPER drawn out recovery. For those of you who know me, thisĀ doesnātĀ jive well. It takes a lot for me to get frustrated, but when I feel limited physically, the irritation comes out. I donāt like to ask for help because I like to do things myself, and clearly have a good amount of pride to work on, after writing this past sentenceĀ š .
Cue Complaint:Ā I havenāt been able to workout, Ā I find myself getting tired easier and feel like I have been half-******Ā everything just to get by-Ā talk about perfectionism stretching. (I promise there will be a learning lesson that comes from this.)
The other day,Ā I was driving in the car (safely š )Ā and thinking about how annoyed I was that I was in pain when I still had so much to do that day and was already feeling tired. I was on the verge of tears and then suddenly was like āwhat the H am I doing?!?!ā Why must I keep pushing myself beyond my limits, why canāt I rest, where is this coming from??? So of course the psych and counseling degrees cameĀ outĀ of meĀ TOĀ me and I was like āoh my gosh I donāt like appearing weak and I donātĀ know how to just beā. Thatās right,Ā light bulb moment with myĀ rock starĀ therapist (AKA myself). My self-care has gone out the window and is basically nonexistent. But what the heck,Ā I thought I was past this??!?!?Ā Nope, around that mountainĀ onceĀ again and here I am.
Basically that revelation was like a hot minute ago,Ā so I canāt say I have put a ton of new practices into effect since then. I can tell you that I basically cleared my schedule for the next three days to trulyĀ TRYĀ to rest, give my bod a break, and take better care of myself. I need to get back into yoga, some prayer and meditation, and practice on just being.Ā Literally, hardest thing in. the.Ā world. I donāt want to live having each moment of the day planned out and I want to be able to impact the world without losing myself in the process, becauseĀ thenĀ I am no good to anyone. Double fail.
Initiation of these new processes willĀ be effective immediately! I am going to start my day with some goodĀ olā stretching, meditating, praying, and not thinking about what I need to do that day. I want to clear my mind, hand it over to God, and let it be (easier said than done). #goals
